@krisv_723: Everyone on FB is posting the status- I voted. I guess it's truthful Tuesday so I posted- I once killed a hobo & hid his body in a barrel.
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@turtledumplin: Before he leaves for work, my husband whispers the 3 words I love to hear him say... "I made coffee"
@ElizaBayne: Find out if the NSA is listening to your call by singing SWEET CAROLINE and if more than one voice responds with bum bum bum THEN YOU KNOW
@DanMentos: “Hello, 911” Help I’m being murdered! “Can you put the murderer on please” what “Gotta hear both sides"
@Underchilde: My wife told me to strive for perfection, so I divorced her and started dating a swimsuit model.