@krisv_723: Everyone on FB is posting the status- I voted. I guess it's truthful Tuesday so I posted- I once killed a hobo & hid his body in a barrel.
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@DecantAndPour: I drink a glass of red wine a day for health benefits. The other 7 glasses are just for me.
@ThaJawn: *googles murder tips *adds "asking for a friend" at the end of each search They won't be able to prove a thing! *evil cackles
@bea_ker: Hey man, settle an argument for me? "Sure" [handing him a sword] Great, he's just in there
@madcaplaughs30: I bet when the toaster came out everyone was happy they didn't have to throw their bread at lightning anymore.