@HyenaEars: Everyone please stop doing crimes because sirens are too noisy.
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@wesjohnson8: Boy at FBI headquarters saw pictures of 10 most wanted men & said, "Why didn't you keep them when you took their picture?"
@ToneLoaf: If you beep your horn .004 seconds after the light changes green, I will shut off the car, lay on the hood and feed the birds for an hour.
@matt___nelson: [Maroon 4 meeting] Adam Levine: "Our band name sucks" Drummer that no one knows the name of: "let's think bigger" Adam: "I've got it"
@secondofhername: What is the difference between a girl and a pool table? You have a shot with a pool table.