@HyenaEars: Everyone please stop doing crimes because sirens are too noisy.
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@ihateitmunky: guy who's about to repair my iPhone screen: may i have your passcode for testing? Me: ..ya know what i don't even want it fixed
@hobo_hands: Having swords for arms was a terrible first wish but it was a genie and I blurt weird things out when I panic.
@Probgoblin: Fun fact about Earth: It is an insane hellworld where a species of ape has harnessed the power of liquefied dead things to destroy itself.
@nbadag: HER: [whispering seductively] tell me your wildest fantasy ME: [also whispering] owning a home