@LoveNLunchmeat: Everyone romanticizes the past until they get horribly sick and wake up covered in leeches.
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@Demented_Jokes: My son cried when I gave him his breakfast this morning. I made him scrambled eggs, covered them in ketchup & told him it was Humpty Dumpty.
@ms_woodsy: Dolls have given us an unrealistic image of women. For example, I found out Russian women do not contain smaller Russian women inside them.
@LeslieInMpls: The cheapest way to make your lips look fuller is to trip on a dog toy, land flat on your face, then sit back and enjoy the swelling.
@DelanieFischer: Being an adult means assuming someone's dead every time your parents call you at work.