@LoveNLunchmeat: Everyone romanticizes the past until they get horribly sick and wake up covered in leeches.
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@bridger_w: I bet Adam and Eve loved being the first people cuz they didn't have to worry about ghosts
@topaz_kell: "I can hear my annoying neighbor crying to Adele's new song as she throws away her empty, clinking beer bottles." - my neighbor
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: (Rushes to hospital) Dr: Your mother is extremely critical. Me: Don't overreact doctor, she's like that with everyone.