@jazmasta: Everyone said it was a bad idea to store glue in the same cabinet as my rifles but I'm sticking to my guns.
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@WheelTod: I used to complain about crying babies on airplanes but last week I was flying, both pilots died & a crying baby landed us on a soccer field
@ChaseMit: Obama says he supports gay marriage because his views have "evolved." Republicans unsure which half of the sentence to get more angry about.
@LoveNLunchmeat: *puts on Rocky theme music* *cracks neck* *cracks knuckles* *stretches* *jogs in place* *picks up phone to call mom*
@bridger_w: I wish there was enough room on TV for another show called Judge Judy, but where people just stood around criticizing a woman named Judy.