@RidiculousSheri: Everyone seems so happy for you until they realize your baby carrier is just filled with mozzarella sticks.
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@CruisinSoozan: The dog almost ate the bird tonight. It was like a Dateline episode. "He kept to himself, but on the evening of June 6, he snapped."
@Joshuawbenson: PEOPLE WITH CHRONICALLY MOIST HANDS: When you have dry lips, rub them on your palms. I call it Lip palm. It's free.