@caliraingirl: Everyone should have that "tester" first twitter account to screw up and learn from... You know, kinda like that first child you have.
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@Storminika: I donate blood 5 times a year just so I'm less and less related to some of my relatives.
@causticbob: Following the leaking of nude photo's of Kim Kardashian, her personal assistant has been sacked for the delay.
@50NerdsofGrey: 'Come over,' she begged. 'I need you right now!' 'Just turn it off and on again,' he sighed. He hated these late night rebooty calls.