@elle91: Everyone should own large grizzly bear in case they ever need to defend themselves against one.
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@TheMichaelRock: Boss: Why did you call off yesterday? Me: You said I should do what's best for the company. Boss.... Me: I'll take that promotion now.
@michowl: I pointed to hub's hearing aid and said is that thing on? He said "yes, I am just trying to figure out what the hell you are saying"
@MandaPie1981: Is that a burrito in your pocket or are you happy to see me? I'm cool if it's a burrito.