@ATXBOSS: Everyone suffering from diseases and natural disasters: hang in there, we're liking Facebook posts as fast as we can
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@Maxine12339: Daughter announced there will be rain for Thanksgiving. We usually have turkey but with her cooking skills rain will taste better.
@DanTaylorAuthor: Me: *gets in from fishing trip* Girlfriend: did you catch anything? Me: *sighs* just an old boot Girlfriend: okay, what's she called?
@JermHimselfish: As you get older, dirty talk turns into "Yeah baby, take that nap. Take all of it honey. You like that couch? Oh yeah, sleep on it..."