@_SingleBabyMama: Everyone thinks it's so funny if my 2yr old rips her dress off at a bday party but if I do it then it's "inappropriate" & "we need to talk."
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@WheelTod: My wife has just come home and asked how things went with the baby. Now in mild panic mode as I thought she took the baby along with her
@TimmyPumpkin: *takes a sip* this wine has a full body, hint of honey, and a rich pallet. "sir that's windex." yes, yes, ill take a bottle.
@TheHyyyype: ME: *makes my first million* MY BOSS AT THE U.S. MONEY PRINTING PRESS: yeah, we usually don't make em bigger than a hundred
@tsm560: I just might be the best thing that’s ever happened to you. Providing everything that’s happened to you thus far has been really really bad.