@AndreaWoo: Everyone who aspired to write the greatest headline ever can give up now.
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@_SetTheHook_: Just looked in my 8 yr old son's bedroom and I'm pretty sure it can't be ruled out that the Malaysian jet may be in there somewhere.
@anhonestmess: This is yr brain. This is yr brain on drugs. *turns page* This is yr brain on the beach at Cancun! Awwww, yr brain on yr honeymoon. *turns p
@Sarcasticsapien: I'm throwing a party and it should be fantastic. I bought three bottles of vodka, made a great music playlist, and didn't invite any people.
@Brianhopecomedy: Giving my wife a bikini wax for the first time. Should I wake her up or just let it be a surprise?