@HomeProbably: Everyone's a genius until faced with an alien coffee maker
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@papasuncle: God: Basically u just chill. Cow: Nice. God: I mean, at first. Cow: ...then? God: Then people murder u to eat ur insides & wear u as a coat.
@HeyZeus666: Anyone who doesn't believe in life after death has never walked away from a lousy job.
@mattingebretson: I love how binge watching a tv show is now portrayed as a fun activity instead of an expression of deep emotional turmoil and depression