@HomeProbably: Everyone's a genius until faced with an alien coffee maker
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@Lisa_Laughs_: He said there was no spark between us, so I tazed him. I'll ask again when he wakes up.
@jordan_stratton: Gotta love those girls in department stores wearing lab coats--taking time away from their experiments to help women out with their makeup.
@carlyken: Whoa I'm floating! Am I...dead? "No it's a dream" What a relief! Wait. Who said that? Grim Reaper: (mutters) shit Uh nobody go back to sleep
@DrDogMD: Patient: Doc, my stomach is killing me. DR DOG: *scratches chin* Have you tried eating grass?