@HomeProbably: Everyone's a genius until faced with an alien coffee maker
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@NickSchug: Just once in movies when someone gently shuts a dead person's eyes I want them to whisper "Ew, ew, ew, ew." while doing it.
@ryangriffiths: People that say "The worst kind of cut is a paper cut" probably haven't been stabbed in the face before.
@mikefossey: I'm a janitor at MIT and i see some extremely hard ass equation on the chalk board. i quickly erase it because im not being paid to do math