@HomeProbably: Everyone's a genius until faced with an alien coffee maker
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@LeiaMarieG: My kid's insults to each other: "you have fat lips like Momma." "well, you have a big butt like Momma. Thanks, kids.
@MarkAFuqua_Hunt: Want to get your kids attention and make sure they hear what you say? Start whispering something to your spouse.