@hippieswordfish: everyone's always asking me 'is your son named after the movie?' and I'm like no idiot Sharknado's 5 yrs old and the movie came out in 2013
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@thejessbess: A rap song where I'm just telling my dog about my day & I keep rhyming with "treats" so he stays interested.
@TitansHomer: [High School Reunion] Him: I started my own Law Firm last year Me: It took 2 months, but I convinced my wife Space Jam was a true story
@Sickayduh: This girl won't stop crying because I told her that selfie filters wear off in 6 months.