@mattgallo123: Everyone's like "the things I want for Christmas can't be bought." And I'm like "Legos. I want legos."
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@SirEviscerate: ME: *catches the bouquet* Yes! I'm next, losers! Haha! SOME RELATIVE: This is a strange funeral reception.
@samiam604: *me at Target* "Hey baby, you want some of this?" *offering to share my chocolate Twizzlers* Her: *calls security* ~Flirting is so hard
@iGreenMonk: Someone just saw me trying to take a picture of myself and now I have a dead body to bury.