@jwoodham: Everyone's talking about how Shia LaBeouf plagiarized Daniel Clowes, but nobody said anything when Kristen Stewart plagiarized paint drying.
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@AaronFullerton: To gangs that carve their names into public toilet seats: A) Why? B) Haha, you touched a public toilet seat.
@attheUC: If there's more than one apocalypse, is it apocalypses or apocali? I just want to be ready.
@carlyken: Give it to me straight "I'd really like to have sex with you-" Now give it to me gay "-r boyfriend."