@zachheltzel: Everything doesn't "happen for a reason." The universe is not aware of your existence. Stop being arrogant.
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@foxnerdrn: I feel like my parents grossly overstated the number of times I'd be offered candy by strangers.
@Scott_A_Gilmore: Shout out to vegetarians for never having ant problems. All ant scouts find is broccoli crumbs and despair, and who wants to feed on that.
@TheToddWilliams: [Bethsaida 28 AD] BAKER: Such a huge crowd…I'm gonna sell so many loaves "Five loaves please" BAKER: Huh? "Jesus is here" BAKER: Sonuva
@tigersgoroooar: Everyone is at the store buying milk and bread to prepare for the snow. I'm buying frozen pizza. Enjoy your milk sandwiches, losers!