@zachheltzel: Everything doesn't "happen for a reason." The universe is not aware of your existence. Stop being arrogant.
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@Marlebean: The biggest threat of punishment for my daughter is saying I'll pick out her clothes for school.
@Reverend_Scott: Earth: "You're causing tidal waves!" Moon: "So?" Earth: "I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation!" Moon: "Very funny."
@JediGigi: Well, son, back in my day, we didn't have a fancy robot to turn the tv on for us. We only had a boomerang.
@CheryeDavis: Set my phone to change K to Okay!! so I don't look rude. Now it looks like I'm all excited about stupid shit, and I'm Okay!! with that.