@GregHenchman: "Everything else tastes like us. Why do we need to die?" -chickens
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@JoshuaTurek: Everyone thought you could get a writing job from twitter but that never happens anymore its only for things like becoming the president
@UncleDuke1969: Mrs. Potato Head: OH MY GOD! Mr. Potato Head: What? Mrs. PH: Your browser history. Mr. PH: I can explain! Mrs. PH: TATER TOTS YOU PERVERT?!?
@OBiiieeee: [trying not to think about Sonic The Hedgehog during sex] Her: faster! faster! Me: oh god no