@GregHenchman: "Everything else tastes like us. Why do we need to die?" -chickens
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@carlyken: Jesus take the wheel. No that's a book. A penny. A rock. DAMMIT JESUS DIDN'T YOU TAKE THAT ENGLISH AS A SECOND LANGUAGE CLASS I RECOMMENDED
@runawaycupcake: The problem with the exclamation point & question mark being side by side on a keyboard: I'm so sorry your grandma died? I love you?
@VinoTica: Him: You drank all that Coke? Me: Well, with my rum.. Him: ... Me: ... Me: How many beers did you have today? Him: Good talk, honey.
@SardonicTart: How many times should you try starting your snowblower before you realize it's not going to start? According to my neighbor it's 458 times.