@GregHenchman: "Everything else tastes like us. Why do we need to die?" -chickens
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@Jerrypleasure: [Date] waiter: what would you like to have? me: bring a milkshake with two straws date: *smiles* me: *puts both the straws in my mouth* look how fast I can drink
@SarcasticAlly12: I keep a tiny vial of gluten in my pocket in case I ever need to smash it on the ground to make a getaway from a large group of hipsters
@aneesa_p: First rule of brown girl club: Don't wear pink & white striped shirts; you'll look like Neopolitan ice cream.