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@MasterOfFury: Everything goes as planned when nothing's planned.
@AndrewNadeau0: ME: I just feel like sometimes you take me for granted.
MY CAT: I literally have no idea who you are.
@OnlyFastEddie: Don't take drugs... for granted.
@FloodyHippie: Hey, baby, you wanna come back to my place, and become a famous murder victim?
@DadInUtah: 6 year old: Daddy, what if the plane goes down? Me: Don't worry, your mom is with us. She never goes down. 6 year old: What? Me: Want candy?
@TweetsByTheTony: El Chapo is a murderous Mexican drug lord. El Chapo Supreme is a murderous Mexican drug lord with sour cream, lettuce and tomato.