@Taryn_: Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you're a dumb ass and you make poor decisions.
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@bea_ker: That's the third time Adam Sandler's scootered past my house this morning. Dude if you want to go on my trampoline just ask
@dreamthievin: Every so often, I try to fornicate a large word into conversation, even if I'm not sure what it means.
@tealbluejay: Calm down penguins. You're just a flashy suit and a few body parts away from being a platypus.
@Schmoodles: I often find myself rewording a long tweet so many times that it completely loses the original subject. This one started off about a cat.