@Taryn_: Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you're a dumb ass and you make poor decisions.
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@kwirkyKerri: I've never been offered money for sex. Never been offered money to not have sex either. So there's that.
@punmagnate: MAYOR'S TIP: before you spend 20 minutes blowing an air mattress, make sure it's really an air mattress, and not Gary hiding under a blanket
@shahnischmani: Sometimes I feel awkward cause I don't quite know what to do with all my limbs, but then I imagine if I was an octopus and I feel better.
@stephenjmolloy: "Installing this app on a smartphone or tablet will mean everyone in the house can easily adjust the thermostat." Dads in unison: "Nooooo!"