@Taryn_: Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you're a dumb ass and you make poor decisions.
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@hippieswordfish: ME: *opens planner and puts on reading glasses* no im sorry looks like i can't make it FRIEND: you're holding a VCR warranty brochure
@msdanifernandez: Game Show Host: if you were stranded on an island with no people, what-- Me: omg yes
@Jamie1947: Things I Suck At: 1. straws, ha ha jk lol 2. Parallel parking, no seriously, I'm really terrible at this 3. straws, haha same joke as before