@dreamthievin: Everything I know about sex I learned from Tetris: rotate it and hope it fits in another slot
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@YourYakiri: You know that confused look old people get when looking at new technology? I'm like that, but with salad.
@DonovanConvery: If I had the power to time travel, I would mostly just use it to stop past me from eating stuff from the fridge that I'd like to eat now.
@panmidwest: IMPROV COACH: you can't just decide last minute to skip practice ME: I really don't know what you want from me
@MarkAFuqua_Hunt: You say you're an atheist, yet you tell people they can "go to hell!" Make up your mind already.