@dreamthievin: Everything I know about sex I learned from Tetris: rotate it and hope it fits in another slot
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@Roweboat13G: Some days you're the Titanic, some days you're the iceberg and some days you're that guy who hit the propeller on the way down.
@nice_mustard: *on time travel bus* oh you're going back to kill hitler? uh yeah totally, me too *pulls jacket over spice girls world tour '98 t shirt*
@CastAwayKristen: Me: Dropped my phone & now screen doesn’t work. Help forum: Should’ve had a better case. Apparently, my mother works in Samsung support now.