@cloudypianos: everything in the world's horrible now not like the good old days of black plague, holocaust, atomic bombs, holodomor, khmer rouge, crusades
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@LoveNLunchmeat: You'd be surprised how much of parenting is reminding your children not to eat soup with their hands.
@Scdavis24: You're the reason why I wake up every morning... Just kidding, I have to go to work.
@Neuronicism: If she doesn't have a new hair style by the time you're done, you're doing it wrong.
@RorynotRoy: Give a man a compliment & he'll be all, "Yeah, I've been working out." Teach a man to fish for a compliment & he'll be all, "I feel SO fat."