@doublewenis: Everything my three year old says is like listening to a weird roommate describe their LSD dreams.
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@ElgatoEsmio: [An old thermometer breaks scattering mercury beads all over the floor] “Get out of here, NOW!" “Why?” “HAVEN'T U SEEN TERMINATOR 2?”
@TheAdly: Why is your ass split vertically? Because if it was split horizontally it would clap when you're going down the stairs.