@doublewenis: Everything my three year old says is like listening to a weird roommate describe their LSD dreams.
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@AnchorsAviators: Dads on here: my kid is such an amazing person. I love them. Moms on here: let me tell you what this little shit stain did today.
@Parentpains: I never knew my mechanic was a psychic until he loudly announced that I had blown a tranny in my car.
@_thatigirl: Asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently, "A way out" wasn't the right answer.