@doublewenis: Everything my three year old says is like listening to a weird roommate describe their LSD dreams.
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@TeaAndCopy: ME: Excuse me…Where's the rowing boat equipment? EMPLOYEE: Keep going down there, Oar Aisle. ME: EMPLOYEE: ME: EMPLOYEE: ME: Or you'll what?
@Poutymcgee: I'm not the kind of girl to get mad and throw a drink in your face....that's wasteful. I'd drink it first and then glass you.
@velvettusk: ♫ Hey cow You're an all star You are grain fed No hay Hey cow You are ground down Graded U.S. D.A. ♫
@That_Damn_Duck: At McDonalds Cashier: You total is to tell your kids that you love them Me: Look lady if I loved them I wouldn’t be feeding them this crap