@HallpassCanada: Everytime I check my facebook I remember why i'm on Twitter.
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@OBiiieeee: Hello, 911? *twirls phone cord around finger* sooooo how was your day? Did you arrest any bad guys?...No you hang up first! Hello? 911?
@xysist: If Kim and Kanye name their next kid North West again, we can comfortably refer to the two as One Direction.
@CakeThrottle: Garfield creator breaks silence to give impassioned speech. "It's pronounced Jarfield" he says through tears