@HallpassCanada: Everytime I check my facebook I remember why i'm on Twitter.
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@zacharyflynn: You say jump I say how high. You say run I say how fast. You say lets hang out I say no.
@iAmDelFreaky: Some hipsters were camping next to me and asked for help starting a fire. So, I chased one around until his corduroys burst into flames.
@GrandadJFreeman: Another Twilight movie?God I hope Abraham Lincoln shows up and slays every last one of them.