@HallpassCanada: Everytime I check my facebook I remember why i'm on Twitter.
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@DaddyJew: I just watched one kid call his twin brother ugly and now I'm just waiting for him to realize what that means
@scorpicpanda: If there's awkward silence & he asks what you're thinking about "emotionally damaged werewolves" is not the best answer. I know this now.
@ItsAndyRyan: "Whats your biggest weakness?" "I'm bad at taking compliments" "Actually that's quite endearing" *Leaps across table, punches him in throat*