@Book_Krazy: Everytime I see my see my neighbors having sex in their hot tub, I think to myself "I can't believe I'm recording this"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@GreyPath1: I am a woman . You are not supposed to know what's on my mind. For heaven's sake, I don't know what's on my mind.
@withanewname: [trick or treating] "Oh, what a cute little…what's she doing?" Me: potty training. "In my pumpkin?!" Me: She likes the heated seat.
@protolalia: I only date men who have cats because they've been pre-trained to try and figure out what you want if you just stare at them long enough.
@KizerBillhelm: My friend just ordered a kale and quinoa salad and a side of eggplant fries and now I'm blinded by whiteness.