@awesomeseank: Evidently, trying to schedule parent/teacher conference over drinks and "we'll see what happens" is considered inappropriate.
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@SteveSuckington: [Shopping with teen son] *sees hot girl* *waits until she gets close* *grabs box of adult diapers* "How are you doing on Depends bud?"
@TravLeBlanc: If you say "no ifs, ands, or buts", then get ready for a shitload of "shoulds", "as well as", and "howevers".
@smithsara79: Me: *crying* B-but... but you said... Waiter: *sigh* "Unlimited" breadsticks, I know ma'am, but we're closing now & you have to go
@bonehugsnirony: Memories from childhood stay with us forever. Our first dog. Mom’s homemade cookies. Dad’s disappearance in the Bermuda Triangle.