@awesomeseank: Evidently, trying to schedule parent/teacher conference over drinks and "we'll see what happens" is considered inappropriate.
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@Jay_FrickinLynn: Me: Good night, moon. [30 mins later] Moon: I thought you went to bed. I saw you favorite that tweet. Why aren't you reading my messages?
@BeagirlNJ: I'm "I lost my car in a parking lot" years old *clicks alarm, clicks alarm* *silence* Am I even in the right parking lot?
@TheMichaelRock: Shout out to Debra on Facebook for saving lives by letting everyone know that the snow is slippery.