@awesomeseank: Evidently, trying to schedule parent/teacher conference over drinks and "we'll see what happens" is considered inappropriate.
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@rockymomax: [me as a magician] *pulls rabbit from hat* AUDIENCE: ooOoOo *pulls knife from hat* A: ooOoOo *pulls sautée pan from hat* A: NNOOOOOO
@shkeeber: I'm not drunk. I'm a gravity inspector... ...and everything seems to be in order here. *falls down/passes out*
@KKAlThani: Somewhere right now, a girl just uploaded a picture of a place she went to in the past with a caption that says "take me back </3"