@brendohare: [evil villain turns around in chair to confront adversary but spins too fast and does two complete revolutions before talking]
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@marcia_bee: Coworker: I lost my phone. Me: WHAT? CW: I don't know where it is. M:*perplexed look* You're not glued to it like a NORMAL person? Freak!
@danagould: The secret to having all of your dreams come true is to keep changing your dreams to something that's just about to happen anyway.