@brendohare: [evil villain turns around in chair to confront adversary but spins too fast and does two complete revolutions before talking]
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@TheMichaelRock: Some schools are banning Santa so they don't offend non-Christian students. That sucks, because Santa is my favorite part of the Bible.
@liv_thatsme: Me *gets interrupted mid-sentence* "Oh, hey sorry; finish your story." Me *employing my usual level of maturity*: No I don't want to now.
@oxygenplug: if you ever wanna impress a girl just bring a baby on your date and then basically just outperform the baby at everything it's really easy