@jonnysun: "evreytime god closes a door, he opens a window" - me, tryimg to convince my clients their house isnt haunted
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@michaelianblack: The Old Testament is the historical record of the first time we Jews controlled the media.
@_BurnsWhenIPee: Periods are stupid. Why am I being punished for not being pregnant? Shouldn't confetti be falling from my uterus?