@jonnysun: "evreytime god closes a door, he opens a window" - me, tryimg to convince my clients their house isnt haunted
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ArfMeasures: COP: So what happened? ME: He stole my watch & ran away down the road COP: Can you describe it? ME: It's like a big path that cars drive on
@mattr_in_nc: Contrary to popular belief, tigers do not holler if you catch them by the toe. Also, could someone call an ambulance?
@AmishPornStar1: Being attacked by a shark is frightening enough... But it's even more terrifying when you notice he also has a big cold sore on his lip.