@LarryJLund: Ex-wife died in a car wreck yesterday. Didn't send flowers, thought might be weird to the family. That and didnt know other drivers address.
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@Tups13: I've discovered the best way to get attention is to sit on the coffee table and meow loudly.
@Tommytoughstuff: [Post fight interview w/ boxer Joey "poor choice of words" Stevens] Joey: "I just couldn't get that guy to go down on me."
@Jeff_G_Nixon: 3yr old: [whispering] I have a secret "What it is, sweetie?" 3: [shouting] I POOPED! "Do you know what a secret is?" 3: [whispering] no.
@thevirtualidiot: On second thought this "Thug's Life" tattoo probably shouldn't have been done in Comic Sans.