@LarryJLund: Ex-wife died in a car wreck yesterday. Didn't send flowers, thought might be weird to the family. That and didnt know other drivers address.
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@JhonRules: Hate when I forget to grab a towel before I shower and have to dry off by doing karate in the mirror for 3 hours
@zacharyflynn: You say jump I say how high. You say run I say how fast. You say lets hang out I say no.
@DaddyJew: My first day as a cat burglar, Victim: you know you don't actually have to dress up like a cat when you do this Me: *hisses