@GrantTanaka: exactly 14 yrs ago today, I pointed at a beautiful woman & said "that's the girl I'm gonna marry one day" but it turned out to be a lamppost
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@blaha_Who: You don't know pissed off until she tells you to go sleep on the couch, an you take all the covers with you.
@Buncahn: [boy spreads his little arms] Boy: i love you this much daddy! Neil deGrasse Tyson: on a universal scale, that is an alarmingly small amount
@tvandjam: Wow, you're a Sagittarius?? That must mean you're trusting, passionate and thick as pig shit to think I care about horoscopes