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@clindsaysway: Senator Clinton, what will you do now?
Hillary: Divorce Bill.
@cpabry: If I were Amish, I'd have to convert to Pmish cause I'm not a morning person.
@curlycomedy: Lifehack: dress your young children in the colors of the food you are serving them to avoid outfit changes.
@weinerdog4life: Long story short, hitler beat me up and has my time machine.
@KalvinMacleod: I bet if Bruce Banner had children he'd be the Hulk more than 90% of the time.