@AaronFullerton: Excited for Downton Abbey tonight. According to DVR description, "Lord Grantham gets pissy when a lady challenges the class system." Oh boy!
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@daemonic3: [at zoo] Kids, here we have reptiles. Reptiles are cold-blooded. This means they rely on external heat and often answer texts with just a K.
@SocialustGal13: Let's make a deal. You sing Christmas music in the office and I'll leave 5 minutes early to let the air out of your tires. Deal?
@VodkaThursday: Gave up on my dream of being a murderer a long time ago. I leave long hair everywhere & everyone knows its mine without doing a DNA test.
@SortaBad: "Babe I wanna ask you something" *gets down on one knee* "When The Little Mermaid became human, how'd she know to use a toilet?" *ties shoe*