@imadepoopstoday: Excuse me, but I feel like your eyebrows owe me an apology.
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@Robert_Fultz: I find it really annoying that eating food doesn't heal wounds like I was led to believe as a kid. Damn Nintendo.
@Chumpstring: In high school I was voted Most Likely to Be Shot Dead While Trying to Steal Something of Moderate Value From a Texan.
@QwertyJones3: PSYCHIC: I can see your future ME: Are you really a medium? PSYCHIC: *shows me the size on her shirt tag* ME: Medium. Son of a gun...