@darrinfb: Excuse me while I go slip into something more alcohol.
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@gidget_76: My cat and I have lots in common like how we both cry when we're hungry and both put our ass in the air when it's being rubbed.
@Brentweets: Playing Guess Who these days is hard "Is your person white?" "Excuse me?" "Is your person white?" "I don't see skin color I just see people"
@NurseMurderer: Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario &how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal, but had no milk. I used ice cream.
@NintenDom: I named my WiFi after my last girlfriend because it's never fully connected with me. And also because I caught my neighbour using it.