@darrinfb: Excuse me while I go slip into something more alcohol.
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@AristotlesNZ: 5yo: Can we go get a turtle? They're so cool! Me: Whats so cool about turtles? 5yo: They can breath thru their butts! Me: Grab your coat..
@david8hughes: [leans against bus stop as bus approaches & winks at girl waiting] I could easily afford to get on that if I wanted to.
@zachreinert03: I literally got fired from a job for not knowing what to do with my hands when I talk. I guess sign language interpreting just wasn't for me