@LeahKnauer: "exorcise" and "exercise" sound alike because they're both the work of the Devil
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@rsynder336x2: I always pick up a huge cucumber up at walmart and yell to my wife "you said you wanted the biggest one right" Because I'm a great husband
@pizza_dragon: Hi kids I'm Keanu Reeves here to tell you that speed is never cool unless you're a professional SWAT member on a bus that's about to blow up
@3sunzzz: If you're giving me directions and you say, "Head north," I'm going to think you mean toward the sky.