@Staggfilms: [exotic fish store]
AMISH GUY: Yes, I’d like to buy an acoustic eel, please.
@Laser_Cat: You can tell I come from a long line of hunters the way I cunningly stalk the rare Totino's Frozen Pizza.
@: [Spills wine]
@fro_vo: [First Date]
Me: so can I see you again?
Her: I had a nice time but I don’t think so
Me: *stops holding in stomach*
@SouthernStylin1: A smart woman knows when to give up and walk away
A southern woman has a shotgun and a shovel named give up and walk away
@EricGoldie: Crocs are suicide notes you can wear.