@Staggfilms: [exotic fish store]
AMISH GUY: Yes, I’d like to buy an acoustic eel, please.
@ericsshadow: Officer: is there anything in your car I should know about?
Me: *remembers photo album filled with 1,000 pics of my dog* OMG YES
@graceful_asfuck: My 10 yr old googled how many states are in Oregon so I guess geography skills are like genetic or whatever
@noog: If someone asks for advice, just tell em to follow their heart. No idea what that shit means but at least they're not talking to you anymore
@dumbbeezie: I wish we could still defeat bullies with synchronized dancing like in the 80s
@dorkwing_duck: Me: how long are you gonna sit there picking your nose? I tried to be polite but this is absurd
Potato Head: I want to look good on my date