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@Jerk_Martin: "Expecto me to be there"
Harry Potter RSVPing to a party
@TheFearBoners: Forget the Home Alone parents forgetting their kid. Why the hell do they own a bunch of mannequins?
@bellicosejason: A friend just texted me & asked for relationship advice. That's like asking the pope to name all the members of Slipknot.
AVATAR (the V means 5)
@RdrJay47: Trainer: Why do you want to learn jujitsu?
Person 1: To defend myself.
Person 2: Discipline.
Me: My girlfriend keeps stealing my fries.
@jonnysun: the most efective way to clean ur room, start a creative project, run errands, cook, brush ur teeth and take a shower is to study for a exam