@adamzopf: Explain to me the down side of being under house arrest.
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@KamanCider: Remember kids, if a stranger offers you drugs, say thank you because drugs are expensive.
@spiritusloquens: My fortune cookie: "Like a hair on a bar of soap, you're likely harmless, but regarded as disgusting and nobody likes you..."
@meganamram: When singers at concerts hold out the mic for the audience to sing, it's like what am i, your maid
@JayCee302: A cute girl with brilliance is the best thing in the world that doesn't have cheese on it Wait couldn't I just put the che Mother of god