@briangaar: #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly A raccoon and a tree commit multiple felonies
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@flashember: Seize the day! by its legs and lock it in chains. Hold a mock trial, find the day guilty. Behead the day. Bury the day in a nameless grave.
@ANNIEwayyyy: Sorry I thought your older sister was your daughter and then made everyone else at the restaurant guess your age.
@novicefather: Wife: 2 is driving me crazy and I want to drive off a cliff. Me: No I need the car.