@fire2sweet: Explaining a fountain to a 3rd world country must be weird. 'Yeah we just shoot clean water into the air and throw our extra money into it'.
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@thenatewolf: *The doctor hands me my son. I see that he's Asian. I look at my wife* ME: unbelievable WIFE: I tried to tell- ME: the stork flew so far!
@NewDadNotes: [watching Olympic Figure Skating] Me: HOLY CRAP!!! THAT ROUTINE WAS INCREDIBLE!!! T.V. Announcer Johnny Weir: it’s obvious to everyone how awful that routine was Me: oh
@ImSoFrancis: Astronaut: I never loved you Me: how could you say that? Astronaut: it's the truth Me: no I mean like, sound doesn't travel in a vacuum