@noog: Exposing kids to violent video games is appalling. They should be in church praying to a bloody statue of a man nailed to a cross in agony.
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@Jack_Wagon1: Remember that time when we got trapped on a ski-lift for 4 days, then the acid wore off and we were just sitting on my grandmas porch-swing.
@AbrasiveGhost: [Opens a beer at the park] "Dude. There's kids here." Oh shit how rude of me. [turns] IF YOU KIDS WANT SOME BEERS THEYRE IN THE COOLER
@TheFactsBook: According to U.S. FDA standards, 1 cup of orange juice is allowed to contain 10 fruit fly eggs, but only 2 maggots.
@canunots: parents: okay we will be home at 11 o'clock! clock: 11:01 me: they're dead i'm alone i need to start my orphan life now