@FlyoverJoel: Eye of the Tiger came on the radio and I got so excited the macaroni salad I was making is all over the walls and the cat has a black eye.
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@KatMcSnatch: Recipe for homemade charcoal: 1. Put dinner in the oven. 2. Sit down to check one quick thing on the internet...
@AndyAsAdjective: [my 1st day at press conference sign language translator job I lied on my résumé to get] ME: *does Madonna's Vogue choreography for 45 min*
@bromanconsul: people are like "pokemon is basically dogfighting" but tbh if a dog with ice powers fought a ghost dog I would probably peek over that fence