@BBQJones28: Eye of the Tiger came on the radio so I jumped out my car and shadow boxed till the light turned green.
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@JaneBadall: The next stick figure family I see with more than 3 stick figure kids is getting a complementary condom taped on their rear window.
@topaz_kell: The field sobriety test was going ok until I grabbed two traffic cones and did a Madonna impersonation.
@shkeeber: Dating must've been so easy for cavemen. This my cave. This my fire. You like rock? I have many.
@pinupteacher: Time out. Otters not only sleep holding hands, but have a SPECIAL POCKET to hold their favorite rock? Humans are bullshit.