@mattZillaaaa: *eye of the tiger starts to play as I trip & fall down the stairs
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: Twitter comedian: I'm the greatest tweeter alive! Kanye: Even I don't want that title.
@munkayc: Bought cheap helium gas. Now boyfriend's annoying snoring doesn't make me want to kill him, but my fear of clowns has tripled..
@markleggett: People who push and shove to get on a flight before other passengers are possibly going to get to their end destination one second faster.