@shiksaaa: Fabulous Prime: The Gay Transformer.
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@abbycohenwl: Woman: Is it a boy or a girl, doctor? Doctor: It's a mango. A perfectly ripe mango Woman: Oh thank GOD. I hate babies
@ActualPerson084: FIRMS YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF OFFERING SERVICES YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND AT PRICES THEY REFUSE TO DISCUSS.
@Vodkantots: "And what will you do if you're crowned Miss Universe?" "I will have a special prosecutor put the first runner up in jail."
@murrman5: [rose from the movie titanic a couple years later sitting on crowded bus] excuse me, can you slide over so I ca- "NO, there's no room"