@alispagnola: Facebook definitely needs to change their name. Pretty sure books aren't supposed to make you dumber.
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@Sassafrantz: What a beautiful day! The sun's shining, the birds are singing, the neighbor's dog is taking a huge crap on my lawn...
@dshack8: 6yo Son: Dad, why'd you spray cologne down there when you got outta the shower? Me: How's ice cream for dinner sound?
@Iwriteforcats: Jake and the Cat Man: One man solves crime, the other spends the entire show being startled by thunder.