@ozzyunc: You could've told me that wasn't your real name before I got the tattoo.

@INDlAN_: I’m not a professional photographer, I’m just a club photographer. I take pictures at the club & people pay me to delete them.

@BrainPornNinja: If you line up all your ex lovers in a row you can see the flow chart of your mental illness

@Jerrypleasure: [First Day as a doctor] Nurse: We need to draw some blood Me: *Sweating* I forgot my crayons and drawing sheets Patient: *fainted*

@robfee: There's not a day that goes by where I don't think about that Backstreet Boy asking his pals, "am I sexual?" & they're like, "yeah."