@alispagnola: Facebook definitely needs to change their name. Pretty sure books aren't supposed to make you dumber.
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@BarebakAssassin: After you're done looking for true love on Twitter, you should go ride a unicorn around Atlantis, then eat some heart-healthy ice cream.
@ThinkingSavage: I'm boycotting 50 Shades of Grey because it perpetuates the stereotype that men can change.
@jonnysun: humans: wat did we ever do to deserve dogs dogs: wat horible sins were done to our ancestors for us to be subservient to the humabns
@shadygrenade: Obama: Get Air Force One ready. Biden: OK! *runs off* Obama: The plane, not the movie. *Biden does 360* Biden: Yeah I know.