@Schmoodles: Facebook is a good reminder that I went to school with idiots.
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@Michael1979: Home Alone (1990) A know-it-all, suburban elitist cruelly humiliates two economically anxious men, seeking to improve their lives
@haleysfalling: cop: are you high? me: if i was high could i do this? *vaults over car hood and does 360 no scope* cop: did you just say "asterisk vaults ov
@CarouselMouse: APOLLO: I'll be god of the sun HERMES: OK I'll take light- A: I'm also light ARTEMIS: I'll take music A: No I'm also music. That's me too
@BromanConsul: GOD: hey my son is broken, he won't absolve the sins of mankind IT GUY: try turning him off, waiting 3 days, then turning him back on again