@DanOverHere: Facebook needs an "I've already seen this on Twitter" button.
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@Reverend_Scott: [first date] Her: I like guys that are spontaneous. Waiter: Soup or salad, sir? Me: [maintains intense eye contact with her] SURPRISE ME
@Snarfernini: Me: Let's have a fight with that guy you like Brain: That's not a good idea, he might actually like y... Me: GOOD IDEA! WE ATTACK AT DAWN!
@Parentpains: Sometimes I'll tell my wife the car is making a weird noise and I need to listen just so I don't have to hear her talk.