@DanOverHere: Facebook needs an "I've already seen this on Twitter" button.
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@iamjeffsloan: Still super weird to me that humans can make other smaller humans. I wish mozzarella sticks could make other smaller mozzarella sticks.
@Writethatdown12: I bet the worst thing about being abducted is the whole country knows your real weight.
@seamussaid: the true test of a child is not how he treats his friends, but how he treats Minecraft villagers
@DillDoes: *Burglar breaks into my room* *he looks around* *he softly wakes me up* Dude do you need some money or something? I'd be happy to help