@gwatts77: Facebook people don't like Twitter because they need picture illustrations to understand the joke.
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@reczit: Dear messed-up memory, please tell me where are my keys instead of reminding me that shit I did on May 08, 2002 at 09;13;54 PM.
@Marlebean: [ Anything I buy from now until Christmas, I consider it a gift... ] Kids! Close your eyes and hold out your hands! "Toilet paper?!"
@PlagueLovers: My password is "weak?" Well your password recovery security question is soft as shit. The city I was born in? Ask me why my mom left my dad.