@VerifiedDrunk: Facebook: People trying to save the world one uneducated post at a time
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@TheDailySchmuck: They say all of this started because Eve ate an apple. Clearly, the book was altered. Everyone knows it had to be chocolate.
@sarcasm_inc: [interview after losing a fight] "What happened out there?" I dont kn-OMG WHAT IS THAT *interviewer doesnt look* Ugh didnt work on u either
@girl_a_whirl: The year is 2027. Voice to text is flawless. A young child points at a bird and says, "Duck". His mother slaps him.