@VerifiedDrunk: Facebook: People trying to save the world one uneducated post at a time
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@heyevergreen: Thought I saw a brownie walk by but it was just my dog. Other than that, diet is going well.
@Elifcello: Every so often I Google my name hoping someone stole my identity and made a better something out of myself.
@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: Tell me a scary story! Me: One time little people popped out of your mom and they never stopped asking questions. 4: Why?