@TequilaTears: Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status... After 3 it should default to "Unstable"
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@Just_Oh_Susanna: I just want to look as good as Madonna does now when I've also been dead for 27yrs.
@Death_Buddy: "Good morning please could I have one human ticket to the water park" Sir are you a shark in disguise? *sharks fake eyebrows slide off*
@TheDailySchmuck: [Eating unhealthy potato at restaurant] Cop: You're under arrest. Me: What's the charge? [Lowers sunglasses] Cop: a salt and buttery.