@KatieBurnett: Facebook's great for when you wanna see a picture or a joke you saw on Twitter four years ago
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@TheBoydP: Couples have an amount they can spend up to without discussing with each other. Mine is around $50. My wife's is around $643.27. Apparently
@SadieSkyNinja: [if my cat tweeted] When "over 38" is sad and missing her boyfriend, I try and cheer her up by peeing on her shoes and puking on her phone.
@leshnevsky: Any phrase can be banalized,by adding "if you know what I mean" at the end. EG: This morning my wife made me a ??tea,if you know what I mean