@KatieBurnett: Facebook's great for when you wanna see a picture or a joke you saw on Twitter four years ago
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@aimlessamers: No thanks, 28 yr old hitting on me at the bar... With our age difference, I wouldn't be a cougar... more like a saber-toothed tiger.
@heatherlou_: These people act like they've never seen a woman eat a whole rotisserie chicken before.
@Disalmanac: Today in 1892, JRR Tolkien was born. He wrote about all the horrible things that will happen if you put a ring on it.