@KatieBurnett: Facebook's great for when you wanna see a picture or a joke you saw on Twitter four years ago
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@stevevsninjas: This hasn't helped my bull get any sleep at all. In fact, the closer I get to him with the bulldozer, the more agitated he gets.
@ch000ch: *bursts into English convention* GRAB ALL THE STUFF YOU CAME WITH THE BUILDING'S ON FIRE *crickets* Christ. THE STUFF WITH WHICH YOU CAME
@DurtMcHurtt: Hobos are like cats, they'll let you pet them until you stop feeding them cat food.